Auto Pilot

The blogs I've been writing recently have all been about my girlfriend, I never realized it would have such an intense effect on me. She visits in a couple weeks and it's literally all I can think about. Today went by without me realizing and I got a feeling I'm going to be on auto pilot until she gets here.

Waiting for life

Can't sleep, very annoyed with everyone, sometimes I think my gf is the only person on this planet i like. So disappointed in how I've been living I just want to be focused on my goals. And it blows that I don't have her with me to help. She always seems to make things sensible.

Stoked

Just got the good news my girlfriend kiki is comin for a visit yee buddy
- Rockwell

Distraction is key

It's only been a week that she's been gone and it's already going slow, she's all I can think about. The only thing I can do to try n speed up this tough time is focus my energy on the gym, I'm a couple days into my new routine and feeling good about it. I know I'm mentally ready to commit to getting a solid body. Now time for a protein shake and bed cuse I got sit-ups and jogging in the the AM then gym and more jogging in the afternoon.
- Rockwell

Torn up

I'm laying awake unable to stop my brain from going over how upset I'm going to be when she leaves. I'm confidant in what we have but it's going to probably be the second hardest thing I'm going to have to go through in life. The anticipation of losing someone for a long time is nothing short of painful, i have to remind myself that it isn't forever that she is going to be away. I need to sleep this off
- Rockwell

Like an online journal

Got the blogger app so whenever I feel like letting my feelings out in writing then its easy, stoked to get some good writings out there, interesting stories and things I can look back on, for now I'm tired and wanna sleep so ya lates.

-Rockwell

I know my destination, but im just not there.

All these goals Ive been setting are within reach if i continue to push myself. But for some reason it feels like I'm not progressing, maybe its my own subconscious telling me i need to keep going harder and workout everyday and do that extra set. Either way it gets frustrating. Also other things in my life seem to be playing out this way. I know what i want out of life, where i wanna go, what i wanna do, who I'm going to be with, it seems like i just gotta go out and get it. Yet I'm still stuck living with the pops and with the lame job at ralphs. Not to mention i want to further my education, which is difficult at OCC. Hopefully moving to Florida will jump start everything together. A more enjoyable job, A better workout routine/ MMA gym, new college and ill be living with the one i love. All this is good to look forward to, none the less its aggravating knowing that Ive been unable to achieve this for myself yet. Just gotta go n get it.

Obsession

Three true obsessions in my life. The first one knows who she is. Second is Basketball. Lastly is the gym. The rush from a good workout is like nothing you can explain. The endorphins give you such a good feeling that lasts throughout the day that i wish i could work out every morning. Also i have a strong drive to improve my body and get it in peak form. Ive been lifting for about a year and a half now but progress is slow. I would love a trainer to teach me techniques and show me what to do to better myself. Since i would like to one day be a trainer/physical therapist i need the experience of being the trainee as well. At this point im weighing in at 184.5 which is 15lbs. below my target 200. Time to get in the gym and put in work.

Actual Effort.

Almost year since Ive posted on my blog, but now I'm planning on typing it up regularly. Recently Ive become interested in school and education. I'm having the urge to learn, and realizing what i need to do in life. I wanna think outside the box and be intelligent. Ive been listening to poetry and some rap that has thought put into it.(Atmosphere, Grieves, Sage Francis, etc.)Which has further interested me in wanted to develop my mind to its full potential. I think about how I've wasted the time up until now not using the most powerful thing that each of us have our brain. Get out there and learn.

-Keep Dreamin